Narrative Therapy for Teens

I want to share with you a story that changed my life when I was a teenager. It’s the story of how I learned to embrace my vulnerability and courage, and how I discovered that I had the power and wisdom to solve my own problems.

This story begins with a therapy technique called Narrative Therapy. Narrative Therapy is a way of working with our stories, the stories that shape our identity and our reality. Narrative Therapy helps us see that we are not defined by our problems, but by how we respond to them.

Narrative Therapy helps us separate our problems from ourselves, so we can look at them with curiosity and compassion. In Narrative Therapy, we call this “externalizing the problem”, where the problem is the problem and the person is not the problem.

One of the things that helped me a lot was to use images and metaphors to name my problem. I have always loved to be creative and playful, and I found it easier to deal with my problem when I gave it a personality and a voice. So when I was feeling angry or anxious, I would imagine that my problem was a character or a creature that came to visit me.

I would also give my problem a name, to make it even more distinct from me. For example, when I was feeling angry, I would call my problem “Stripe”, like the gremlin from the movie. And when I was feeling anxious, I would call it “Boog”, like the bear from the cartoon. These names made it easier for me to talk to my problem and understand what it wanted from me.

You might think this sounds weird or childish, but trust me, it works. There are many problems that can be solved this way, like low self-esteem, negative thoughts, depression, and bad habits.

In this digital age, where we spend so much time online and with avatars and virtual characters, it’s easy for us to imagine our problems as independent entities that we can communicate with. And when we do that, we can find new ways to deal with them and heal ourselves.

For example, I remember one time when I was feeling very anxious about a presentation I had to do at school. I was so nervous that I couldn’t sleep or eat or focus on anything else. So I decided to have a chat with “Boog”, my anxiety.

I asked him why he was making me feel this way, and he told me that he was trying to protect me from danger. He said that he was afraid that I would fail or embarrass myself in front of everyone. He said that he cared about me and wanted me to be safe.

I thanked him for his concern, but I also told him that he was wrong. I told him that I was prepared and capable of doing a good presentation. I told him that I had done it before and I could do it again. I told him that he didn’t need to worry so much about me.

Then I did something surprising: I gave him a hug. I told him that I appreciated his presence, but that he didn’t need to be so scared or controlling. I told him that he could relax and enjoy the show with me. And you know what? He did.

The next day, when I had to do my presentation, I felt calm and confident. “Boog” was still there, but he was quiet and supportive. He didn’t bother me or distract me. He just watched me shine.

That’s how Narrative Therapy works: it helps you break down your problem into its smallest parts and find out what they mean for you. It helps you realize that you have many different parts of yourself, some of them vulnerable and some of them courageous. And it helps you use your courage to help your vulnerability.

Narrative Therapy can help you see yourself in a new light, a more positive and empowering light. It can help you increase your self-esteem and happiness, and make lasting changes in your life.